Lessons in Love

Not having a schedule is nice...being secluded from town and not having a schedule...it's even nicer. I didn't feel obligated to go adventure around so much. The space around me was limited and the adventures to be had still seemed to be endless.

I walked around the premises of the hotel with no goals in mind. Armed with my camera and side bag, I ended up going towards the back of the hotel through some bird watching trail. This trail opened and poured out onto another trail that would lead to town. I was about 15 minutes down this trail when I decided that the animals around me were a bit creepy so I turned back around towards the hotel. I will not know to miss what I did not see.

A few of the others took a boat over to the town of Livingston. They will be gone for several hours.
I got to the little restaurant that we were playing cards in yesterday and hung out with Sid for a bit. We just chatted as he had breakfast and I fooled around on his laptop. He asks about my life back home and we got to talking about siblings and family. I didn't see a reason to hide anything about my life so i was completely honest with him; the dramatic happenings before I left Vancouver were discussed. I heard myself saying the story and saw Sid's expression. This was not a regular story he's heard before, yet i let it out as if it were. Conversations turned into relationship talk.
Do you have a boyfriend?
No.
I made a slight mention to commitment issues and he cuts in and starts talking about the inabilities of some guys and how they can't get it together. I guess he thought i was talking about guys who have had these issues with me. I laughed for a second and quickly corrected him. "It's me, it's hard for me to settle down", I told him. "I have commitment issues", I heard myself say. I've admitted to this several times in the past but hearing myself say it out loud at this moment, and in this time...it sounded uncomfortable.

Ashley was the only other person from our group that I hadn't seen yet. It's either she's still sleeping, or she's surprised us all by doing an early morning adventure. She's not the morning person of the group. Around 11:30am, she surfaced from her room looking well rested - she slept in. We lounged around for some time, chatting in the restaurant. Relationships seem to be the hot topic as my one-on-one conversations with Ashley was dominated by this. Regardless of age, race, country of origin, sex...the human relationship is a hard one to conquer and manage it seems.


The sun came out for a while so i took advantage and sat on the dock to soak it in and have some personal time. I sat there and gazed out onto the lake as boats passed by and sparrows fluttered around. I thought about the conversations I just had at the restaurant.

A boat with Otto, Deborah, and Roger came pulling up to the dock; they had just finished their trip to Livingston. We all headed back to the restaurant together to lounge. My mind was still in a wander as I sat there trying to look occupied with a book. Nothing was being read, nothing was being absorbed. A couple of double daiquiris and gin/tonic later, I was ready to have dinner. Slowly one at a time, the group dispersed into the night. Whether it was to drink rum with some Ukraine girls, apply for jobs online, or sleep some more...Sid and I were left at the restaurant talking more about the human relationship and with ones self.

I learned that the base of human relationships stand on (in no particular order):

1. mental
2. emotional
3. physical

If either of these things take a beating or does not meet at a satisfactory level, it will affect one of the other factors which in turn would make the base of the relationship crumble. No relationship should ever be under the influence of alcohol or any other substance. You have to be aware...how else will you know what your heart is saying if you can't hear?
Slowly we realize that we're the only ones left in the restaurant and the lights have been adjusted to a dim as if to tell us that the restaurant is now closed.
We walked over to one of the bungalows where the guys were drinking with the Ukraine girls. I stayed there for a bit then decided to call it a night.

I may not have had a schedule today, or any activities for that matter...but the conversations that filled my mind was enough to make me feel that I've had a full day.