Girl talk

Like in the beginning of the movie, ¨He´s Just not That Into You¨ we learn that no matter what country you´re in...girl talk is still girl talk.
Today was very much like that.


I got into Lima 8am. My shuttle driver was late so I hung around looking for him around the terminal until 8:45am. He came at a timely manner as I was about to jump into a taxi (not knowing that my driver was late. I thought he just failed to show up).
I was warmly welcomed by the hostel owner, Marcello.
He sets me up in my own room and i get settled in excited to do a whole day of planning. My plan of doing a whole day of planning was just that...a whole day of planning.

After some aimless wandering around Miraflores, I got back at the hostel 12:30pm to meet Marcello´s travel agent friend who was going to work with me to customize the next couple of days here in Peru.
Her and her daughter looked surprised to see me sitting there on the hostel computer. I think it was because of how young I looked. But they were even more surprised when they found out I am travelling alone.

Ines and Jarmy worked for about 9 hours (with several long breaks and an early dinner break to talk about boys and future travels to Norway) to complete and finalize my tour. Here´s how it looks...
-Lima to Ica to do some sand buggying
-Ica to Arequipas to do the Canyon tour and overnighter (2 days and 1 night)
-Arequipas to Puno to do the island hopping+tours+homestay (this falls on my birthday) (2 days and 1 night)
-Puno to Cusco to do Machu Picchu (4 days and 3 nights)
-Sacred Valley tour in Cusco
-Cusco to Lima to chill for the afternoon before a flight to SF

It´s a packed schedule and it comes to about a little over 700usd.
Not cheap, but much more value than if I had booked something like this at home.
I got a trip customized to my schedule aaaaand I´ve gotten to know Ines and her daughter Jarmy.

Jarmy is only 20 years old but some might mistaken her for someone a bit older. She looks like she´s a fiery Latina woman but in actuality, her and her mother are quite sweet.
Jarmy has had several long distance relationships (it seems like) with mostly men from Norway. This is partially the reason she and her mother would like to go back there to see the men. As much as i would hint to continue with planning the trip, conversation would manage to find its way back to the men in our lives. We´ve tentatively planned a trip together (a girl´s only trip) to Norway next year in March/April.
I have something in common with Jarmy...I am in a long distance relationship. It´s new(ish).
New...old...doesn´t make a difference, it´s still hard. Days prior to leaving for Peru, my mind was running wild with things to do as well as things to think about. After talking to Jarmy and Ines, my mind was put a bit more at ease. Warm text messages came in and I felt even more so at ease.

A friend of Ines comes in to join us and soon all four of us head over to Mango Cafe which overlooks the Pacific Ocean on a cliff for dinner. I did what I normally wouldn´t do; I had the buffet. I may regret it now, but i wont be regretting it later on the days i don´t have time or energy to eat.
As we sat there, conversations in Spanish got a bit more intense. They were talking in Spanish before but this seemed serious. Wouldn´t you know it, now it was the friend who was talking about men problems. She has two men to choose from and doesn´t know who to marry. The man that she Loves (who´s also in Love with another woman) or the woman who Loves her (and nobody else) but she´s just not that into. I didn´t ask for what her final decision was. I continued to eat my endless plates of food and drink my Pisco Sour. I don´t know her nearly good enough to even ask questions.

We walked back to the hostel and finalized my tour. I made sure I understood everything and had it all printed out. The ladies left. I wished their friend good luck with the decision in men. I thanked Ines and Jarmy for everything and told them perhaps I will see them in Norway.

Marcello came over to book my final bus ride from Cusco to Lima. ¨Was everything ok? Thing´s are ok? Everything clear?¨, he asked. I told him things were clear after I had asked my million of questions. I explained to him that I´ve got poor memory and had to have everything written out.¨I´ve never seen it take this long to plan before¨, he had explained. So I told him the truth, ¨...girl talk is never quick...¨

C.R.A.Z.Y.

Another important occasion, and I'm doing it again; I'm choosing to venture out by myself to a foreign land for three weeks in celebration of my birthday. My flight to Peru leaves tomorrow.

Two nights before departure, I sat in the living room and listened to Sonny and Aissa plan out the birthday shenanigans.
I thought I was crazy for going to Peru completely solo but after hearing their conversation, i decided that maybe I'm not as crazy as these two are.
Last year, if you asked me to party for two good weeks to celebrate our birthdays, I would have been first to jump on board and making any phone calls necessary to assure it was a big damn deal. As a matter of fact...I was. I was partially responsible for the debauchery of last year's celebrations.
This year, things are different. I'm different.
I've been sober since April this year.

Today I left work early to meet the family for a birthday lunch.
Aissa and Sonny came together as they did the Grouse grind in the morning. Mom and Dad came together from Surrey. I came by myself from work.

On the way home, I rode in Aissa's car with Sonny. We had conversations of 'fun times'. Sonny poked fun of Aissa...I poked fun at her too. Sonny got his fair share of jokes slapped on him. Then Aissa pointed over to me. She brought up stories I've completely forgotten about. Drunken stories that should be forgotten. "We've lived so many different lives!", Aissa said. She's right.
I sat in the backseat remembering things I've worked hard to forget. Call them awful, shameless, degrading, hilarious, delirious, stupid, silly, dangerous times...these moments are unforgettable. They make me. As hard as I've tried to black them out, they will always make a way back and re-surface.
I still stand today but I walk a bit diffent. Today I walk straight...living a different 'life'.

It seems that I've grown apart from Sonny and Aissa. I don't have much to relate with them anymore. I've already lost several "friends" in this attempt to better myself. I know I'll never fully lose my own brother and twin sister, but i also know that we are not as close as we once were and that makes me sad.

I take off on a plane tomorrow and I'll probably be crying for more than a handful of reasons. This trip comes timely, I'm sure, as there are several lessons to be learned. I never really always know all the reasons why i do the things i do...but i know they'll start showing themselves soon enough.

Last minute gifts

Today is the official last day with the group; after today, many of us are going home, some of us are going to stay, and the rest will continue to travel. Either way, the past 30-some-odd days will be behind us and the chapter will be closed with these faces I've grown familiar with.

I spent the day with Ashley. My original roomate from the beginning. My twin away from my twin.

We shopped around trying to gather our last minutes gifts back for our Loved ones back home. Gifts for ourselves, of course, came into play as we looked for outfits to wear for our final dinner as well.

I realize that Playa del Carmen is not my style of vacationing and will probably leave tomorrow for Isla Mujeres. This place is just a dollar sign for travellers looking for "culture" in their 3rd world Starbucks and Burger King.

Ashley and I got back to the hotel and I got cleaned up as well as I could in an attempt to look like a lady again. After the treks, jungles, beaches, adventures...one tends to look a bit roughed up.
I put on my brand new short blue sweater/dress and met the rest of the groups downstairs who have already started with the tequila shots. Tiago's group had decided to go to a fancy restaurant (Fuzion) whereas our group has chosen to go to the same cheap (yet delicious) taco place from the night before.

With the tacos devoured, the alcoholic beverages drank, and the inappropriate comments said...we all headed to where Tiago's group were having dinner to join them for more drinks. I tried to enjoy the night but my mind was elsewhere.
These gifts I've got back at the hotel, they're thoughtful.
But they won't describe the things i've seen. They won't show the places i've been. They won't spill the flavours i've tasted.
These people that i'm surrounded by at this moment, they were my family away from my family. But they won't be there for me tomorrow. They won't be awaiting on updates if i get to my next destination safely.

At the beginning of this trip, i knew that i've bought myself a gift.
Nearing the end of this trip, I see that I bought a memory and an experience that I wouldn't trade for the world.

As we watched the performers at Fuzion restaurant, every now and then people would get up and start salsa dancing. I've never salsa'd before but Sid was persistent with the fact that he needed to teach me the basics. We danced for a bit but then after seeing some eyes look over, I felt self-conscious and told him to dance with someone else as I continued to drink at the side of the bar. There's no place like the side bar. As I hung around there and the others continued to socialize, an older gentleman started to talk to me. He's Israeli but has been living in Playa del Carmen for some time. As it turns out, he owns this restaurant. He continued to buy my drinks, and I continued to let him. He invited me to see his "jungle tree-house style" home but after some wise words from Sid, I decided against it and went home with the rest of the group.

We got back into the hotel and continued to drink left over booze and smoke some herbal. I hung around with Sid and we listened to music from my mp3 player. The sountrack to my trip. We listened as I associated memories to each track knowing that i'll never hear these songs the same again.

Lives in Transit

I looked across the hotel to the restaurant and there was no movement. The shores were inhabited by only animals; stray dogs, massive birds, and pests loitered around the beach. A couple of rastaas who have yet to catch some sleep were hanging around one of the unoccupied vendor stands drinking from mystery bottles.
There was a hum in the air, it's hard to explain. The clouds haven't fully parted to make way for the sun yet. The same way the drapes haven't parted in many windows to allow the day to begin. But we were up.
We were up and ready to slip out of Caye Caulker's memory.

Today was a pure transit day. If i remember correctly, a 13 hour day in transit to Mexico.
Water taxi - taxi - public bus - private bus
I slept a lot of the way with only a few side conversations here and there with the group. It was winding down to an close soon with them.

We got into Mexico and from the ADO bus station, walked to our hotel conveniently called Playa Del Carmen hotel. The only thing on our minds was food. Tiago's group decided to take showers and settle down first...our group put our things down and wanted to head over to the Taco eatery that Sid was talking about earlier.
After satisfying our stomachs, we went to satisfy the rest of our senses and strolled down to the shops.

After the adventures that I've had on this trip...after meeting the locals and travellers that I have on this trip...after losing myself and after finding myself on this trip.........Playa Del Carmen was taking it's America-wannabe city and rubbing out my new found culture.
Burger King, DQ, Starbucks, H&M, American Apparel...those were just some of the names i came across on the stroll. Instead of going out and partying, I decided that i would relax at the hotel. I looked at my shoes that hung off the front of my backpack. A reminder of the near-death experience on Volcano Pacaya. In my bag, I pulled out receipts and scrap pieces of paper I've been collecting and writing on. In my bag, I looked through things that I have stashed...new, broken, garbage, old...it all served as a reminder of things that have happened this trip.
Just like that, it was time to clean up.

Pretty soon, this will all just slip out of my memory.

Goodnight and Goodbye

The country I thought that would be rather civilized and wealthy, in fact looks like the ghetto. Side stares are thrown, not smiles. People in Belize City seem to be looking to make a quick buck in any way they can. I didn't feel safe as I have in the previous cities and towns.

I slept most of the ride from San Jose to Caye Caulker via Belize City. Today is the day before our tour leader's birthday (Sid) so we've decided that we would celebrate it tonight once we get in so that he could relax on his actual day of birth.

In Belize city waiting for our water taxi to come in, we were in the waiting area with not much to do. I thought it would be a good idea to stroll around the premises as we wait to see what there is to see, taste what there is to taste, and meet who's there to meet. Even though i was scared of my surroundings, i insisted i give it a shot. I was visually scanning at all times making sure i was aware of my surroundings as much as possible. With only 2BZ (Belizean dollars) in my pocket, i couldn't get far. On my walk, i managed to meet a local who gave me a quick lesson on how to speak Creole. Basically any word that ended with an "er" would now end with an "a" instead. For example, you wouldn't say mother...it would be motha...fucker would be fucka...mother fucker would be motha fucka.


After my quick stroll up and down the street, i went back into the waiting terminal for the taxi where i was befriended by a local Belizean. To make a long story short, he was trying to sell me marijuana. I strung him along with absolutely no intention of buying from him. As it turns out, security was watching me. Before loading onto the water taxi, security came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder with a pair handcuffs. He warned me not to buy anything of that nature from anybody or else it would be a different story. I explained that with 2BZ, there wasn't much that i would be able to buy anyways, and i got onto the boat.


We walked along the shores to our hotel. Once we settled into our rooms, we crossed the little beach street and over to the on-the-shore restaurant where they were playing good island music. While we were eating lunch by the beach, i went to where the DJ was and requested the speakers to be turned up. We finished our meals and headed towards our hotel but i made sure i stopped by to speak with the DJ.
His name is Smiley and he works for the restaurant. He was a flirty guy who was offering to be of service should we need anything. He boasted as the trusted guy in the island, a guy who the police can't touch. I told him I would see him later if i needed anything and went along.

This night, the group slowly got ready while tossing back a giant bottle of Flore de Cana which was generously donated by Ashley. She decided she wouldn't partake in the festivities but she gave us the bottle to destroy anyhow. Slowly but surely, the group started getting sauced. Soon, the search for the herbal was on. Remembering the words of my new found friend earlier, I made my way across the beach path to the restaurant to find Smiley. Sure enough, they were having their own pre-party. I presented him with 5BZ (equivalent to $2.50CAD) and told him that's all i have in exchange for an herbal stick. He was flirty from the beginning so i knew i had a bit of an advantage. At this point, i was taking it. He rolled it up in a cigar leaf for me. Feeling somewhat obligated to hang with him, i invited him to come up to our balcony for a drink. He pre-partied with us. Sid took me into his room to make sure i was ok. I assured him i was sober still...but in fact, i wasn't. Doesn't mean that i was stupid, this just means i was drunk.

A couple more of Sid's tour-leader friends came up to the balcony to drink and do the countdown for his day of birth. Past midnight, we decided to head out to a club. Smiley came along. At this point, i was already in a magical place in my head. The group partied as i chilled by the bar.
Soon, after noticing that all i was doing was noticing (rather than partaking), i decided that i needed a pep talk with the mirror in the washroom. I gave the spill and my reflection listened carefully.

I walked out of the washroom and an image stared back the moment i exited. In order to protect his privacy, we'll call him James. James didn't look like anyone else in Belize. He is a mix of cultures, tall, had dreadlocks, and had a friendly smile. He has spent the majority of his life in San Diego and has only been living in Belize for the last 3 months. He would be a beginner rastaa...or a rastaa in training, if you will.

There were cameras pointed towards the dance floor and TV's projecting the images along the back of the bar. It was intimidating to hit the dance floor while everyone (the group included) were watching but with enough beverages and an alluring smile, James had lured me on to dance to some reggaeton.
As it turns out, he's a scuba/snorkel instructor for the company i had booked a tour with earlier today. I was already contemplating cancelling my full day of snorkeling for the next day, but this pushed me to the edge and i was certain i would cancel early next morning. He told me to cancel and we would go on our own tour. Knowing very well i wouldn't do this...i said yes anyways and we continued to dance.
One of the other tour-leaders had tried to pull me away to dance with him instead and i entertained it for a bit only to go back to James within the next minute. I spent the majority of my time with James.

The next morning, stares from the locals were thrown at me as if I had done something wrong. I found the group at the restaurant across the hotel eating breakfast. They were hearing rumours too. I got into my room and took a shower and tried to get ready for the day. Everyone headed for their full day of snorkeling. I stayed behind to write at the restaurant. I hung out with Smiley and we talked and talked all day. He took me to the other side of the split. I was aware of his intentions, but I'm too well aware of how to handle myself to let anything happen. Even though I had only known Smiley for a day and a half at most, i learned a lot about my self (rather, my insecurities) from him. Sometimes it takes a complete stranger to pull off the masks we hide ourselves with. I was at a vulnerable state. The fact that a complete stranger was having "moment of truths" with me was making my mind whirr so much that i thought i wasn't thinking at all at certain moments.



We walked back to the hotel and i parted ways with him with the promise of seeing him later that night to celebrate Sid's birthday. I didn't go back to my room, rather i went to a nearby dock. I sat there and watched a man fish with his two dogs. I watched and he noticed me watching but i didn't care, i decided to not flip the channel and i continued to watch.

I headed back to my room before the group got back. I tried to get some sleep before Deborah came in to tell me all the fantastic things they've seen during snorkeling. Once she got in (and i may have gotten all 20 minutes of a nap) sure enough, she was telling me how great it was. Instead of going on though, she changed it back to me and asked me how my night/morning was. Soon Ashley was in our room and we were having girl talk.

Girl talk came to an end as the group decided to get together for a birthday dinner with Sid. We had fantastic Red Snappers and Lobster. It hit the spot.



On our walk back to the hotel, i walked with Sid. I confided in him and he was a good friend to listen indeed. There we were standing at the front of the hotel, just me and him talking. To the other side of us was the restaurant Smiley works at where we were expected to come party.

I wished Sid a happy birthday and said goodnight...headed to my room to sleep Belize off.

Even though I didn't do any tours this day; even though I stayed behind, i still feel that i'm going somewhere...that i'm getting there...that i've gotten something.

No wasted day...just wasted people

What unites this group and brings us together at the end of what may be a very long and tiring day?
What encourages such a group to share many hearty genuine laughs?
What kind of things does such a diverse group talk about over a dinner table?

Well...having a few bevies during happy hour(s) while smoking some herbal the group talked about movies for the entire evening. Slide in a game of asshole (a card game we play almost nightly) and you would have thought we've all been friends for ages.


Everyone except for Ashley and I had gone on the ATM tour. We stayed and lounged around the camp grounds. When the group came back from their adventure, we all gathered for our nightly ritual of drinking Nicaragua's Flore de Cana. Our new friends Steven and Nathan came with their own bottles as well as a big fatty to spread around. I wasn't drinking, but i sure inhaled.
The warm hug of alcohol did it's best to keep the group warm on such a chilly Belizean night. The clouds of green pulled eyelids to a squint and laughs from the heart of the belly.

After a day of lounging around and playing darts, no day is wasted. Just myself and the people around me.

No shoes - No flashlight - BIG problem

Today we crossed over to Belize.
Our hotel's name is Tropical Wings trek stop and it is literally about 5 minutes away from the Guatemalan-Belize border. This is the hotel I was warned about. It is, in a sense, similar to the jungle huts we had stayed at in Tijax (Guatemala)...except, not only did this place have a communal toilet/shower area shared amongst all of the guests, these toilets were biodegradable. I applaud the forward-thinking of the owners; Tropical Wings trek stop has won several awards in the previous years in regards to it's eco-friendliness. Unfortunately, the number of awards and certificates presented to the hotel do not mask the smell rising up from the lined-up holes in the ground. Neither do the woodchips that we are requested to toss into the holes once 'business' is adjourned.

After a brief introductory meeting from the hotel owner, Deborah and I walked into town to see what this place was about. It seemed like a ghost town. There were no other people really around and a many of the stores/restaurants were hidden. It was almost creepy...think, ghetto meets the jungle. We followed our ears and found a high school band playing outside. At first we thought it was a pep-rally type deal, but there weren't nearly enough people gathered around for it to be. Maybe it was just them practicing. Either way, we were too apprehensive about it all to get a closer look or ask someone. Before going back to the hotel, we stopped by the largest grocery store in town. This store was...wait for it...owned and operated by Chinese people. As far as I can tell, the woman running the cash register could barely speak English, didn't speak a bit of Creole, and knew not a lick of Spanish. Yet they were the biggest store and thriving.

We got back to the hotel and I decided I would just lazy around and watch a dvd in the open air restaurant. I popped in Darjeeling limited. About halfway through the movie, I decided to head to my little cabin to take a nap - there wasn't much else to do and I'd seen this movie before. On my way there, I met a guy who was taking photographs of some birds. His name is Nathan. He quickly finds out that I'm Canadian and calls for his friend who was coming out of their cabin. Steven is also Canadian - he's from Toronto. After a quick getting-to-know-you, the boys invited me to come along to see the mayan ruins nearby. Without hesitation, I went to my cabin and grabbed my camera and we were off. We passed by Sid and Otto who were still watching the dvd I had popped in at the restaurant. I told Sid that I would be going to see the ruins and would be back shortly. He looks at me puzzled and tells me that the site is closed for the day. Nate and Steve decided to head into town to have some food and so I went back to my room for a nap as I didn't want to venture back into the ghetto-jungle.

I got up just in time as the boys were heading back into their cabin, which happened to be right next door to mine. Nate calls me over and I could tell he was going to ask me something he didn't want anyone else to hear. "You're from Vancouver so you probably smoke pot don't you...?", he asks. Steve chimes in, "dude, she's from Vancouver, of course she does".
Of course I admitted to doing so. We decided that we would wander the property of Tropical Wings trek stop to find the unexcavated mayan temple and smoke pot as a reward. I was pretty relaxed with my rolled up jeans, flip flops, and light jacket. With nothing but my camera in my hand, we took off. With the excitement, neither of us had realized that the sun was setting pretty fast. Neither of us even had a flashlight...no map...nothing. It was inevitable, we got lost.

You know when you're scared, for some reason it feels like your senses are heightened? I wasn't cold that evening - i was freezing. After some convincing, the guys decided to follow me to retrace our steps back towards the cabins instead of trying to follow the sounds of the highway. Later on, the guys had admitted that they were stoned. I sighed in relief.

We got back to our cabins and on our way in were stopped by Tito, the hotel owner. Where are you guys coming from, he asked. We told him what had happened and he just looked at us in disbelief. I don't want to know what he was really thinking. He reminded us of the meeting the tour company was going to be having at 7pm that evening and suggested we all listen and pick up the ATM adventure. We had about half an hour before it was presentation time so we headed to the boy's cabin to hot box.
I was pretty baked. I headed back to my cabin afterwards and just chilled for a bit until it was 7pm. I made my way to the restaurant where the tour company was meeting us up when it was time. I was so cold that my main concern was remaining dry and warm for the next 2 days. Every adventure the representative had explained had some kind of water activity involved and we would get wet. Being baked, I decided i would rather stay in my cabin the next day and just be warm and dry. So i decided i wouldn't sign up for anything. Ashley felt the same way.

I kept mostly quiet, ate my warm vegetarian chili soup for the remainder of the night and wrapped the day playing asshole with the regulars until my pillow called my head.